Monday, July 2, 2007

Flying the Friendly Skies


Please explain to me the logic, of standing in line for 80 minutes, to get a good seat for a 45 minute flight? While waiting for a Southwest flight to Salt Lake City, people started getting in their A B and C lines a good hour before the plane was scheduled to take off. Then the flight was delayed by 20 minutes, which means they stood in line for 80 minutes in order to have window or an isle seat on a 45 minute flight.

Here's a little known Southwest Secret:

If you're in the A group: You're going to defenitly get a window or an isle seat, your carry on baggage will absolutely have space in the overhead bin. Even if you're the very last A to get on board, pretend you actually had a B pass and shabam! You were the first B to get on the plane.

If you're in the B group: You will also get either a window or an isle seat, unless there is a lot of pre-boarder's then you're in trouble, and if it's crucial that you get that seat that you want, sure get in line. But your carry on's will make it in the overhead bins just fine. Even if you're the last B to get on the plane, think of yourself as the first C to get on the plane.

If you're in the C group: You're screwed, so might as well enjoy the luxury of sitting in a seat while you wait.

Other unspoken laws of flying:
If your arm is on the arm rest, you are not permitted to let your arm CROSS the rest, into the next seat's personal space. You're already an armrest hog, so keep your dang elbow on YOUR side of the chair.

If you're feeling chatty, and the person next to you doesn't ever ask you a question about you or your life, they want to sleep and to be left alone.

Can people stop with putting the bag on the middle seat thinking that people won't want to sit there because your bag already is? "ooh, open seat... oh, no I can't sit there, there's a bag" the most effective way to get people to avoid sitting next to you is to have a two year old in your lap, or bad hygene- a two year old with bad hygene is fool proof.

If you want to pray to Allah on an airplane, may I suggest a 'silent prayer in your heart' to avoid forcing the plane to turn around, or getting beaten to death.

1 comment:

f*bomb. said...

On my flight to Boston I wore my pink eye mask and leopard print neck pillow and made my aile neighbour take a picture of me sleeping on the neighbour with the window. Then I offered them both melatonin so we could all sleep together at the same time.