Sunday, September 16, 2007

Maybe George W and I have more in common than I thought…

My friends that got married before me said all newly weds got called to the Nursery. I understand that the Nursery plays a vital role, but it seems unfair to stick people that do not have children themselves, babysitting. Sure, once I have a toddler of my own it’s only fair that I do my share of the babysitting- but when you’re childless, it seems like needless punishment.

I thought I was going to avoid the Nursery, the first ward we lived in it was temporary, so we didn’t receive callings. Before we moved into our current ward we met the bishop. I asked the bishop in the presence of the Nursery president (our next door neighbor), to NOT call me to the nursery. Long conversation about how if he wants me to procreate the last thing I should be doing is watching young children at church.

Guess what calling was extended to me today?

I’m assuming he forgot our previous conversation, and when my name came up they thought “oh, newly wed. It might be good for her to spend time with some babies” Problem is, I don’t like babies, I like kids. If I work in the Nursery, I’ll post pone having children. They can be cute, funny, fun, whatever, but they can also whine, poop in their pants and throw tantrums. I’m not a nursery person- stick me teaching the 7 year old boys- yes, 2 year olds- no.

Maybe it’s, inspired, maybe I should spend 2 hours each Sunday babysitting for ‘spiritual blessings’ (aka free) Maybe it will open my eyes to the error of my ways, and I’ll quit my job, stop watching CNN and want to spend the rest of my life pregnant, scrap booking, and perfecting my tuna casserole.

Am I completely off base here for not wanting to serve in the Nursery? Am I being prideful because I think this calling was extended to me due to a stereotype? Am I the only one that only likes babies for about 15 minutes then I'm done? Am I a big jerstore for thinking that this calling could make me become a 'sacrement only' kind of gal?

Brent thinks I'm a looney toon.


chloe elizabeth said...

I was just talking to someone about this last night. I don't know why people think it's a good idea to put childless people watching kids. Is it to give the parents relief? Is it so parents, who don't have alone time during the week, get spiritually fed and those of us who have all the time in the world (this being an assumption about childless know, that all we have is time and we get to sit around and read scriptures all day long) are okay for those two hours?

I don't know. And I am with you (kind of). I love my nieces and nephews...but they are raised by parents who have my same values, I know them, I can discipline them if I need to without fear, etc. I know they are clean, they get regular baths, they are well nourished. But I just don't like "other peoples'" kids.

My friend who teaches special ed says that I probably would like other kids if I spent enough time with them to get to know them. I'm skeptical.

Let me know how it goes. And I don't believe that all callings are "inspired"...because I don't really think that inspiration is necessary for certain things, so you probably were called for certain "reasons". Maybe you could ask your bishop why he called you.

Sorry for the rant. I'm just glad to have another year in a singles' ward. And I realize that I just doomed myself to the nursery by saying all of this.

crazy4danes said...

Oh are certainly NOT at jerkstore! I am with you 100% on this one and I have a kid!!! When Dan and I first got married we were called to the nursery...I HATED IT!!! Totally not the place for newlyweds for about the PERFECT birth control!!! And no amount of time with kids is going to make you get to like either do or you don't. My new challenge is playdates with Bryan's friends...I can't even stand other 5 year olds!!! LOL So it's just who you are and there's nothing wrong with what I did...I just sat there and watched and made Dan deal with the crying, needy kids. I made no attempt to pretend I enjoyed the calling and before long we were out of there! I'm sure the moms didn't appreciate the fact I was in NO WAY excited to see their kids being dropped off, and I made NO effort to get all "mommy" with the kids. I didn't like them and in turn they avoided me! :) Maybe not the best advice, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get through it!

ps...thanks for the info on that medication...I'm looking into that for sure!!! :)

Chelsea said...

I don't think that you're off your rocker. But I do have a few thoughts.

We have some good friends with 2 1/2 year old twins. They called the mom to the nursery. In addition to dealing with her kids all day and night every day and night, she now had to deal with her kids AND 10 others during the 2 hours of the week where she would otherwise be getting a break from them. And her son started having meltdowns in nursery once she was put in, though he'd never done so before. As unfair as it seems to throw newlyweds in there, it seems more unfair to put young mothers in. Put the Dads in, for heaven's sake! Let them take a turn!

I totally agree, though, that nursery is an excellent form of birth control. But who says that's bad? Maybe if they called more newlyweds in, there would be smaller nurseries!

Vanilla Vice said...

The #1 reason I love the singles ward: No nursery.

No Whining said...

Just say no.

No reasons or excuses, just say no. Wear your "no drugs" badge (if you have one)- the one that says, "just say no". Tell him no.

"No" is so much easier than "yes"..."yes" just will cause you trouble....Just say "no".

f*bomb. said...

Run up to the Bishop and thank him profusely for the amazing birth control- you were pretty sure you wanted kids, but now you KNOW you don't like the little boogers!

Lauren said...

I second Farrah's comment.

Keeping Up with the Joneses said...

Okay - I have been a lurker on this blog for about a month. Honestly, I can't even remember how I got here but I have read almost all of your posts and have named your blog "my thinking place" on my blog. I agree with almost everything you say and as a SAHM/Daycare provider with very little adult interaction, I love to read things that make me think!And your posts do the trick ! Thanks!

That said, as a mom of children previously in nursery/previous primary president/previous nursery worker, I think I have something to say about this. I realize that this post is so old that it's likely no one will read this, but here goes. Nursery is not "free babysitting". It is the class where 18-36 mo olds go to have their first exposure to gospel teaching outside of their home. It has been organized that way by general authorities by revelation. It is the responsibility of the nursery leader/worker to create an environment where these little ones can learn what's expected of them at church as well as begin to learn about the teachings of the gospel. Some people find it just as difficult to relate to teenagers as you do to toddlers - so get over that. One of the most important needs of children this age is consistency, consequently, if you are unsure of the divine origins of this calling, it may be that you were called because you come to church every Sunday and are known to be someone of integrity who would serve in her calling regardless of her personal preferences. There is no perfect station in life to be a nursery leader, most people have some reason for "not being nursery material". It's a tough calling, I'll admit. But it's more about being organized and prepared than all smooshy gooshy about little children. The best nursery leaders (and I speak as a mother as well as a previous primary president) are the no nonsense, there every Sunday, WOMEN (sorry - but the men can be in there to help but their lessons are rarely satisfactory - sorry if that's sexist - but it is what it is)who understand nursery is where these children belong and it is their job to help them want to be there. Callings are rarely given because " this person is perfect" for the job. And I'm sorry, but to the woman who said that people with children think that those who don't, have tons of time on their hands ~ those of us "parents" haven't always had children and we are quite capable of comparing our lives "before" and "after". Since you do not have the opportunity of having experienced both situations, shhhh! You just might eat those words if/when you become a parent.

I know, you probably don't even have this calling anymore. But to anyone else who reads this, nursery is a labor of love. And even if you don't love the children (which is fine, I don't love other people's kids like I do my own either)you love the Lord. So serve him, by teaching the children. They need to be there. Someone needs to teach them. It might as well be you.

Salt H2O said...

I appreciate your insight.

The church is a functional entity- it needs people to serve in order to function. While I do believe there are a great deal of callings which are inspired, I also believe that there are a great deal of callings that it doesn't matter who serves, they just need some one there to do the job.

I was warned by a number of friends who were recently married that all newlyweds get called to the nurshery. It's just the way it is.

I believe in personal revelation, I knew that was not the place for me. I didn't say no right away, I said I'd think about it and went home and cried. Then conviently I didn't show up to church for 3 weeks and they filled the calling with someone else (totally not planned on my part but it worked beautifully)

I am currently in a calling I love- and I feel like I'm making a difference in the world. I'm also pregnant, which I can garuntee would not be so if I was watching children even for 2 hours a week.

Sometimes callings are inspired, sometimes they're not- I don't believe in saying yes simply because your asked. I believe in asking why.