Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Fabulous Item of the Week- Chocolate

Not just any chocolate, but a chocolate that once you taste it, your mouth will find a Recess Peanut Butter Cup offensive. It becomces unthinkable to waste valuable calories on peanut M&Ms. Godiva? Please. Ghirardelli? Might as well eat brown crayons. Sees? Amatuers.

Chuao Chocolates comes in a close second. Chuao is extremely unique in flavor and tastes, HQ is in Encinitas, so they do have the home court advantage. But no amount of wierd chocolate combinations (Prickly pear tahini enrobed in dark chocolate topped with sesame seed décor) can compete of the simple goodness of Lake Chaplain Chocolates. I was introduced to these morsels of heaven by the book Candy Freak (with a title like that, how could one NOT buy the book)

It's been a hard month, you deserve a treat. Splurge on yourself, and buy a five star bar. Happy Halloween.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Yo VIP, Let's Kick It*

Vanilla Ice, in concert for FREE- and we had backstage passes. Sure he was playing in a town where gun shots ring out like a bell, where you hit the ground and all you hear is shells, but this was ICE ICE BABY! The seventh grade Kory would have been so proud. The concert was timely, as I have recently incorporated the term “wiggidy wiggidy wack” back into my vocabulary.

Who goes to a Vanilla Ice Concert at a bar named Teazers in Ogden, Utah aside from 2 Mormon couples in their 30’s? I wondered the same thing myself-

Your dad was there

Ice Ice Baby too old, too old

Girls were old and fat wearing less than bikinis. They were probably hoping to see those Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis. Making you look at pictures of those old skanks wouldn't be right, but this is how Brent and Bart looked most of the night.

It was appropriate that the opening act consisted of the world's worst white rappers,PacMan and Sicko - We weren't ready for these chumps on the wall, the were probably acting ill 'cause they're so full of eight balls.

Who did we NOT see?

There was a problem and Ice didn’t solve it. We waited 2 ½ hours to for the DJ to revolve it- the air was like a chemical spill, and those 40 year old skanks wouldn’t chill. Our ears had been assaulted by the worst opening act in history, why we remained there was still a mystery. Our clothing wreaked of cheap perfume and cigarettes, and at 11:30 we were told it was going to be another 20 minutes. Though he may be deadly when he plays a dope melody anything less than the best for us is a felony. As Mr. Van Winkle says, “Love it or Leave it”, we weren't lovin' it, so we said, “Yo, let’s get out of here”

The next time you see your mom, tell her I said ‘Word’.

*If you were born after 1985 or before 1965, this post will seem incoherent and totally ridiculous

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Why Do We Hate The Rich?

My grandfather was a high school physics teacher, and he loved teaching. One Christmas his kids asked for a swimming pool, and he decided to build it himself. He negotiated with subcontractors, did some research and built his own swimming pool. Neighbors and friends started asking him to build their pools, and my grandpa realized that he could make more money building pools than teaching physics. My grandpa Steimle slowly became an innovator in the swimming pool industry and started the most awarded swimming pool company in the U.S.- California Pools and Spas.

Starting his own company, didn’t make him rich at first, but in his later years he was able to provide a comfortable lifestyle for his family. Never ostentatious, he always was out looking for a deal- milking his senior citizen discount for all it was worth. He donated a great deal of money to charities and organizations, making huge strides for the City of Hope. His financial success not only benefited him but the community as well.

My grandfather worked hard, was innovative, and in turn reaped financial rewards. It’s self-reliance that made him successful not looking for the hand-out. (For those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting me:I did not inherit some swimming pool fortune- due to a Y chromosome my grandfather's company is in 'other' hands. We'll just leave it at that.)

I have a friend who’s father is brilliant,hilarious, and very financially successful. He didn't inherit his wealth, but gained it through hard work, education, and tenacity. His family gives a great deal of money to charity, they are exceptionally generous and his daughters have the biggest hearts I’ve ever met. Again, his financial gain has benefited the less fortunate.

We all have sympathy for the poor, but you can’t ignore that the world needs Bill Gates, not just for software, but for his charitable contributions- his foundation. If you look around the best way to donate service is not to bake a casserole, but to donate money- and who has the money? The wealthy.

Why do we begrudge the well-off? Why is it when flames ravage a wealthy community in southern California people lack empathy because those that own the homes have wealth? Is it a mere case of the haves and the have nots?

The majority of evacuees in San Diego have not turned to the Government for help, they’ve turned to themselves, to friends and to family. Only ¼ of all evacuees are in government facilities. Is it because they have money that they are not in government facilities- or is it because they are not in government facilities that they have money?

The only way to escape poverty is to do it yourself, those that turn to the government for help will always be reliant upon others generosity and will never escape their poverty. Those that think they can do things themselves, taking responsibility for their own lives will be successful. By no means do I begrudge those that have had to take refuge in government facilities, for some there is no other option- but the difference between San Diego and other parts of the country is that turning to the government is not the first option, it's a last resort.

After hearing some comments this week about the lack of sympathy towards those loosing of their homes due to their financial status I ask: Why hate the rich and take joy in their misfortune, when the best way each of us can help the world right now is to write a check? It's the wealthy that contribute the most financial resources to the poor. These people pay far more taxes, and give a great deal more to charity than you or I ever could. We loose the wealthy, we loose welfare, we loose social security, we loose hand-outs. Before you take joy in the fires, realize that its your meal-ticket that's burning.


Thank you for your concern. It means a lot to me. Thought I'd let you know that my parent's home, Lori's condo, Jennifer Johnson Zuffinetti and Amy Johnson Jones' parent's house is ok. The Johnson home was the one that was the most likely to burn, it was in the thick of all of the fires.

It's interesting, I've read a few of the message boards here in Utah, hoping to read words of encouragement and it's interesting to read people thinking that fires happen every year in San Diego and that those that live there were pretty much asking for it.

Since 1979, when my family first moved to San Diego there have been two huge fires that I can remember- in 1996 when it chared my street and we came very close to loosing our house, and just a few years ago. The first of which was started by illegal immigrants living in the canyon behind my house.

If everyone refused to live where there is the potiental for natural disaster where would we live? There are hurricanes in Florida, Tornados in the mid-west, floods in Texas, Drought in Arizona and Nevada, Utah is on a fault line, so where should we all move?

Luckily, I only run into these morons on messages boards, and not in real life. My neighbors and friends are logical and thoughtful, and kind. Thank you for all of your prayers and concern. I well up with tears when I hear that other states are sending fire fighters, redcross workers and financial aid to San Diego.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I Still Wish I Was In San Diego

I don't know what's harder, watching your childhood go up in flames on television or in person. San Diego is the center of the universe- or at least my universe. I have a better understanding of the emotions that flowed during Katrina. I understand why Harry Conick Jr. went on tour giving all proceeds to the rebuilding of New Orleans, Elen Degeneres spends time promoting new businesses in New Orleans, and the hords of people that want to move back to a city that is covered in mold and prone to disaster. Now nature's wrath has been let loose on my town.

I'm not going to go on tour to promote my hometown, people tend to pay me NOT to sing, and my talk show deal has some minor details to work out. So all I can do is ask you, my six readers, if you could offer a prayer for San Diego. Ask that the winds might stop just long enough to contain the fire, I'd be very grateful. My friend's homes are encircled by flames- the sky is cloaked in black soot, and one of our countries prettiest cities is covered in ash. If you're planning a vacation next year, think about giving your tourism dollars to San Diego, or New Orleans.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Basic Econ Tames Wild 10 Year Olds

A helpful hint for any of you who teach Primary

Sunday, Brent was called to team teach the 10 year olds in church. He was cautioned that these kids were the rowdiest group and he may have a hard time keeping them under control. Brent smiled and said he wouldn’t have a problem, he had a secret weapon- Candy Potential.

This method of controlling children in church is the creative genius of my brother. Each Sunday he brought a full size candy bar for each child, put the candy bars on the table in front of them and let them know that this was their candy potential. When they misbehaved, my brother would open their candy bar and take a bite out of it, - many a child would leave his class with a half eaten candy bar in hand.

Brent used this tactic Sunday. He placed two pieces of candy in front of each child, telling them that they had the potential of getting two pieces of candy, but if they acted up, he was going to eat the candy. The ring leader of the group started misbehaving, Brent threatened to eat his candy- the boy said, “Right you’re not going to eat my candy” and Brent said, “Oh, I’m not?” and plopped the chocolate in his mouth. The boy then said, “Well, you’re not going to eat the other one”- and seconds later the child’s last bit of candy was gone. The kid’s eyes widened, they sat in silence for the rest of the class.

Looks like we'll be investing in full-size candy bars on a weekly basis.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Is The Office Jumping the Shark?

Is the office becoming less funny as this season goes on? It can be funny for half an hour, but the full hour is lacking. Each episode grasping for plot lines and struggling for jokes. What's happening?

Steve Carrell gets too much play, Rain Wilson doesn't get enough credit (Though the Beet Farm last night dragged). Take away Dwight Shrute, the show is flat and painful. It's the lack of the Dwight- Jim relationship that has taken away the entertainment value this season. And Jan, I hate Jan- all plot lines involving Jan must go. Ryan and Kelly too- I find them cumbersome. Keep Toby.

I hope it's just a phase, and it gets the old humor back. I'd hate to look back a year from now and think that Pam and Jim hooking up is when the show jumped the shark. There's just not enough good comedy on television to let this show go just yet.

*For those that are younger- the term 'Jumping the Shark' stems from Happy Day's, a show that was great and very entertaining, until they had the episode when The Fonz jumps a shark, on waterskiis- and it was all down hill from there.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Fabulous Item of the Week...

If you enjoy getting naked and having a stranger rub you- look into Massage Envy.

Massage Envy is the BMG Music Club for massage. You sign up for a membership, the first month is $79, which includes a 1 hour massage. Each month there after they charge you $49- which includes the monthly hour massage. Additional massages are $39.

A 3 month membership- paid upfront is $200- a little more than what you spend on one massage plus tip at a spa. I get 3 massages for that $200. Saturday the husband wanted to go, a guest is $39, we paid a total of $100 for the two of us, including tips.

You don't get the spa atmosphere, you don't get a robe and slippers, the orange flavored water or the steam room, but to save over 50%, I can live with out a robe.

Give it a try, the first massage is no commitment and only $39.
Massage for the Masses

Thursday, October 11, 2007

How to Avoid a Church Calling

When asked if you'll accept a calling, say maybe- disappear from church for 2 weeks due to 'work'- shabam! when you get back, they've filled the calling with some one else. Dodged That Bullet

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Senator Harry Reid Leaves The Axis Of Evil

Call me a flip flopper- but yesterday Senator Reid was in my Axis of Evil and now he's out. I still don’t believe the government is our friend, that the war is lost, George W. caused hurricane Katrina, talk radio should be banned, nor should we be giving 50% of our income in taxes which help to provide education and health care to illegal immigrants that burn our flag, refuse to learn the national language and spit on our country. However, I no longer think Harry Reid is evil- misguided maybe, full of clichés and hot air, yes- Manipulative- dead on. Standard democrat- absolutely. Evil? - Not really.

Here’s my summary of his words on how his faith and public service correlate:

“I’m a democrat because I am Mormon, not in spite of it”

Great line Harry, but like most politians, you give a tag line, a catchy phrase but no explanation as to why or how. I liked where you were going with this statement- but prove it. How is it that Mormonism made you a democrat?

“Social Security is the most successful social program in the world”

If you say so Mr. Reid, but it’s common knowledge that it’s beyond bankrupt- what about that bankruptcy? If it’s so successful how are we going to keep it around for when WE get old and need it?

“In the times of disaster people have only 3 places to turn, family, the government and God”

The family- agreed. What about the community? What about your church? What about throwing your own hands into the work? This is the crux of why I am not a democrat- I do not see the government as the solution to disaster.

“Government is our friend”

This the dividing line between democrats and republicans, between socialism and capitalism. The founding fathers knew that the government is not our friend, it's a necessary evil.

“Iraq was the worst foreign policy blunder in our nations history”

This statement generated applause, which must have come from freshmen who have yet to take their US history credits.

“I am Pro-Life”

Anyone can say they are pro-life, or pro-choice, but he didn’t prove it. He didn’t talk about his voting record, nor how he has helped the pro-life movement. Probably because he hasn't

“Global Warming..blah blah blah..Energy Conservation”

Agreed, agreed- but how are we going to remedy this? A little less conversation a little more action please….

“I hope Mitt Romney is evaluated by his political prowess and not by his religion”

So how did religion affect you Mr. Reid when you ran for office? Did anyone ask you about your underwear? Why haven't we seen "A Mormon in the Senate" on the cover of Newsweek?

Lastly he encouraged the students to get involved in public service, not just religious service. Which is easy to agree with.

Two things I would have liked to have seen- 1- How he corrilates his religon with his stance on homosexual marriage and 2- a Q&A session.

I learned a lot about Mr. Reid- mostly where this idea that the government is our friend and socialism is the ideal came from. He had extremely humble beginnings, parents had no education, he hitch-hiked to High School. But just as Harry was able to work hard, and leave those humble beginnings- I don't understand why he and his party would like to remove that element of work, and replace it with a hand out.

I'd like the opportunity to hear more political figures, especially those running for office, speak for a 45 minute stretch as to who they are, where they came from with out the media spin. Harry is out of the Axis of Evil, I now see him as more misguided than evil, but Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Rodham and Math are still in.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Captain Happiness to Speak At BYU Tomorrow

U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to present BYU forum Oct. 9
Will discuss "Faith, Family and Public Service”

WOW. I'll give my review tomorrow.

BYU has had both Dick Cheney and Harry Reid come to speak- props to the Y. I'm anxiously anticipating hearing his thoughts on his faith and his public service, and how they can possibly coinside.

Maybe this will inspire mainstream media to MENTION that we already have a high profile Mormon in government, and electing another one isn't ground breaking.

How is it that Newsweek writes an entire article on Mitt Romney and Mormonism, and a Mormon in the White House but fails to mention Harry Reid? Where were the news breaking headlines when Reid ran for office? Did anyone ask him about his underwear? Baptisms for the dead? Anyone?

Check out KSL.COM or BYU.EDU for the story

Saturday, October 6, 2007

How To Receive More Presents

1. Top of Mind Awareness = More Presents

It's easier to remember the birthdays of the friends and siblings that call often, visit frequently, or respond to emails. Send pictures, or post recent pictures on networking sites, and keep blogs.

2. Big Reaction = More Presents

You like to give gifts to people who show happiness in receiving the gift. Naturally if you make some one really happy with one present, you're more likely to buy them two.

When someone gives you a gift, light up like a Christmas tree.


3. Thankfulness = More Presents

When you have bought some one a present and it hasn’t been well received, your immediate response is along the lines of “ Ungrateful Bast&dD!" No likes giving presents to Ungrateful Bast$%ds.


4. Expecting Presents = LESS presents

Most people don't know it, but it's socially unacceptable to put where a couple is registered in a wedding invitation- it’s a presumptuous act thinking that because some one is attending your wedding that you’re going to receive a present (check an wedding etiquet book-I'm dead on) Those ‘for your convenience the couple is registered at Target' go in bridal shower invites only. Besides doesn't everyone register at Target and Bed Bath and Beyond?

6. Pictures WITH the present = More Presents

This works well with close friends and family, and it’s GOLDEN with baby pictures. If some one sends you a gift, take a picture of your child using that gift and email it to the giver. People seeing you use their gifts, want to give more.

5. Thank You Notes = A Life Time of Presents

The thank you note is a forgotten art of our generation. This tradition of having a generic typed out thank you note given to everyone who attends the wedding with a little white baggie of Jordan Almonds- doesn't cut it.

The thank you note not only makes the giver feel good, but those good feelings you generate with in the giver makes them want to give again.

"Gratitude is a mark of a noble soul and a refined character" and a sign of some one who gets LOTS of presents.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007


"Opportunity knocks frequently, he's just often missed because he's wearing overalls and dressed like work"- Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs

"Work is the miracle by which talent comes to the surface and dreams become reality"-Gordon B. Hinckley