“Dude, you’re old, when are you going to have a baby?” My gut response for the past 18 months has been, “I live life on my OWN timeline and no one is going to peer pressure ME in to having a child, just because I’m 30!” I watched mothers in airports struggling with their children, looking like they hadn’t combed their own hair for days, thinking “Man I’m not sure I want to do this” I felt sorry for the 19 year old girls pushing around their two children in malls because they never got back pack Europe. I looked at every blasted Ensign article that talked about women that gave up their career for children as propaganda.
Paula Abdul , 45 recently said she’s entered the next phase of her life and wants to get pregnant- and with modern medicine, why not? You’re only single once- might as well live it up and extend single life for as long as possible and you’re only married and childless once- why not extend that phase as well? (not that I'm advocating Paula as any sort of role model)
There is one other thing about a child- once you get pregnant- THERE IS NO TURNING BACK. There is absolutely nothing more permanent in the world than having a child. You are officially a parent FOREVER. I got married at 29, Brent was 33, we’re not the type of people to jump on commitment quickly.
I woke up one day, and everything changed. My maternal instincts have overtaken all logic and now, I have a deep need to put on 50 lbs, and shoot a crying, pooping, needy object out of my body. Don’t ask me why or how- in the battle between hormones and logic, hormones win every time.
After every Fisher Price commercial on TV I give Brent a look of longing, if there are TWO baby commercials in a row I declare that it must be a sign.
I make googly faces at children where ever we are, in Sam’s Club, in traffic, and in church, last Sunday I got a funny look from the 2nd counselor because he caught me playing peek a boo during the rest hymn.
I get extremely excited when my friends post pictures of their children on their blogs, when my brother sent pictures of his daughter, I welled up with tears.
Typical conversation between Brent and I:
“Have I said it today?”
“No, You haven’t”
“Ok, I’m going to say it now.”
“Do you have to say it every day?”
“If I don’t say it every day it’s going to build up inside and we’ll have to have another talk”
“Fine Say it”
Kory then gets in her whiny tone “I want a baby”
“That’s nice, what do you want for dinner”
Yesterday, after a particularly hard day of work, Brent came home and said, “Work was awful. Everything is ok now, because I get to come home to you.” I slyly slip in “Imagine how rewarding it’s going to be when you come home to your loving wife AND adorable daughter who’s going to give you a big hug and be so happy you’re home.” Ok, so maybe it wasn’t that sly.
“What do you want for Christmas?”
“Um, that’s out of our price range.”
“No it’s not, it’s free”
The baby battle is officially ON. Brent’s afraid to get pregnant because his job is up in the air, and he’s trying to be financially smart. I say, that you have to have faith before you receive blessings.
My friend Travis says Brent will buckle when I hit the breaking point. My mom thinks it’s my choice, not Brent’s since I have to be pregnant.
Women- any advice? Words of wisdom? Anything I should do while we don’t have children? Men- your thoughts? Best way to convince Brent that having a baby is going to be the best thing that ever happened to him?
The other alternative is to seek out opportunities to be around children that really annoy me. I probably should have jumped on that nursery calling, I could have routinely killed all of these maternal instincts every Sunday.