Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Single's Ward Commentary

Warning: The following post is very MORMON.

This exchange occurred when my roommate Teresa, her fiance Eric, her mom (Sherry) and I while in the Pierside Singles Ward in Huntington Beach. You have to read the To: From:.

-----Original Message-----
From: Michael Robinson
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 8:37 AM
To: Teresa Jagard
Subject: Call me please

Hi Teresa,

The bishopric would like to ask you speak in church this Sunday. If you can/can't, please let me know ASAP.

Thank you!

Mike Robinson

-----Original Message-----
From: Kory Welch - USA
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 1:09 PM
To: Teresa Jagard; Eric Riewerts
Cc: Sherry Jagard
Subject: RE: Call me please

I've edited your response to Mike Robinson

Mike,

I am going to Lake Tahoe for the weekend with Eric Riewerts. Don't
worry, we won't be unchaperoned, there are a bunch of couples going, and I really wouldn't I have time to prepare a talk between gambling and snuggling in the lodge with Eric. Sorry!

Whew...I am going to be mostly out of town throughout December...

Oh and please if you schedule me to give a talk in Jan please don't schedule Eric also for the same day. He told me he would embarrass me with corny couple comments from the stand....plus we don't want to be tagged as the ward couple. I hope you understand.

Thanks,
Teresa

-----Original Message-----
From: Teresa Jagard
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 1:24 PM
To: Kory Welch - USA
Cc: Eric Riewerts
Subject: RE: Call me please


Dude -- you better write an email to my mom right now explaining this
.... you are soooooooooooo fired!!!

-----Original Message-----
From: Kory Welch - USA
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 1:35 PM
To: Teresa Jagard
Cc: Eric Riewerts
Subject: RE: Call me please

Will this work:

Dear Sister Jagard,
I would like to explain to you the emails which have been forwarded on
to you. I could understand that you could have some concerns about the
content with in the emails of which I have been asked to formally
explain on behalf of myself and Eric Riewerts. The primary issues being

1. That teresa does not want to talk in church

I'd like to fully negate that. In a singles ward EVERYONE wants to talk in church, it's about face time.

2. That there are other couples going on this trip

One of them isn't REALLY a couple, they're just kind of hanging out, but let's be honest- it's a ski trip, they're gonna hook it up.

3. There will be gambling in Tahoe- technically teresa will not be gambling, Riewerts is the compulsive gambler

4. That Eric and Teresa cuddle

I would like to confirm that Eric and Teresa will not be cuddling on the trip- again, another misconception: they will be 'making out' which as we all know is something different COMPLETELY

5. That if Teresa was to speak with Riewerts in church they would be
labeled as the ward couple- which is the biggest fallacy of all because they are already labeled the ward couple and I have it on good authority that the Bishop is going to ask them to give the joint RS Priesthood meeting together the 5th Sunday of this month- topic being: LOVE ME BUT DON'T SHOW ME---how we almost didn't make it to the temple.

Again, Sister Jagard my apologies.

6 comments:

ThomCarter said...

Awesome!

Freaking Funny!

Mormons are great!

cropstar said...

HILARIOUS!

Steve said...

"Love Me, But Don't Show Me: How we almost didn't make it to the Temple", hahaha. Now that is a Sacrament meeting that would keep my attention, especially if they had handouts, haha.

crazy4danes said...

I have no idea who those people are but man Kory...you just get funnier and funnier as the years go by!!!! You kill me! That was awesome :)

Salt H2O said...

Thanks. One of the best compliments I can receive is some one telling me I make them laugh.

Last night Brent was telling me that I wasn't funny. I read your comments to him to prove that I am indeed HILARIOUS. I think the only thing I proved was that I can be annoying.

crazy4danes said...

Brent has no idea dude...you have always been HILARIOUS!!! Every since I've known you you've made me laugh and it seems the longer I know you the more my gut busts! You're awesome :)