Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Is there a 12 step process to breaking up with blogging?

I’ve had this blog like what? a month maybe? And suddenly I’m all over the internet spouting my wisdom and keen insight. I’m the political defender of truth, with my sword of witt, and my spelling errors, I construct logical arguments and raise important questions that could shape today’s society. I converse with others via the internet discussing topics like disease, gun control and crocs (the ugliest shoes on the planet)

I feel like the 15 year old speech and debate champion (note my subtle way of tooting my own horn) has found an outlet! I get to engage perfect strangers in debates via the internet!

Only there are three problems with this addiction:

1- I can’t tear myself away from my computer. There’s like 600 other things I could be spending my time on- work being one of them, cutting my toenails being another- even if I attempted to pick up quilting it would prove more valuable than indulging my argumentative nature.

2- After constructing a well thought out argument as to why the state of Utah really should consider a recycling program instead of ‘encouraging’ the state to stop drinking bottled water- the general response I get is “It's the MORMON's fault we don't recycle”. Which brings me to another topic- Utahan's will drag the LDS church into any concievable argument. There was a message board about landscaping, and some guy STILL found a way to bash the LDS church on the message board. I’ve asked people to explain why they support Hillary Rodham Clinton as a president- their response,“Girl Power”. Is there a website for 15 year old debaters? We would find more logic than I do on the likes of ksl.com, or latimes.com.

3- And the last issue: Caring is depressing! The more I learn about government and politics the more depressed I get. I’m starting to understand why people would rather read about Paris Hilton than about Harry Reid (he’s an idiot) I’d rather learn about the spending habits of the rich and famous than the spending of our government.

So I’m trying to wean myself off of message boards, especially those in Utah. When you use big words like “Fiscal Policy” Utahans get confused-

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Consequences of an open mind-

An open mind allows the acceptance of new thought, a natural consequence of which, an opinion will change.

I recently changed my mind on gun control. I married a man that carries a gun. I’ve always been pro-gun control, but when there was a shooting at the mall down the street (Trolley Square) and the first response was an off duty police officer that had a gun, my opinion changed. After the Virginia Tech shooting, my opinion changed again. I think that this country needs stronger gun restrictions, but the idea of taking guns out of the hands of private citizens is suicide, due to an already strong black market.

I thought that diesel engines were bad for the environment, hybrids good. A bit of research showed that with a Hybrid I’d be replacing a battery every 15,000 miles for $6,000 a pop, which out weighs what I’d be saving on gas. In addition, I’m sure those dead batteries aren’t the best for the environment. Looking at diesel cars, they get on average 40 miles to the gallon, which not only surpasses that of a hybrid, but there is no battery to change, diesel is currently cheaper than gas, and a diesel car is less expensive to purchase than a hybrid. Brent loves his diesel Jetta.

I’ve been reading about people who have changed their minds about abortion. First Jane Roe- Norma McCorvey is now Pro Life. Another Pro- Life activist is Bernard Nathanson, the co-founder of the National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League. With the invention of the ultra sound, he saw the other human he was operating on, and has done everything in his power to undo the work he had done, but it has been slow moving. He has openly admitted that he falsified all the statistics his organization used to push forward the ‘Pro-Choice’ movement, but the national media doesn’t want to hear it. Other abortion surgeons of note, who have changed their opinions, are Anthony Levantino and Beverly McMillan.

In short- don’t drive an ugly car because Leonardo DiCaprio thinks hybrids are good for the environment- he’s not a scientist, he’s an actor. Mitt Romney isn’t the only one who has changed his mind about abortion, and let's face it- all of us with open minds are inherently flip flopers.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Trying to be a HOMO

After a full year of looking at houses, we finally made the offer on a home in Bountiful. We all know that most of the people living in Utah want to be like Californians, well, now they’ve resorted to pricing their houses like they are Californians.

They build the houses right on top of each other, as if they were trying to maximize their beach front property, we live IN A DESERT. McMansions in Utah are going up on .13 acres of land, when land isn't scarce. I'm confused.

Pretty excited about being a HOMO. We placed an offer on a house the same day we saw it, the guy selling it was asking a fair price, which is hard to come by. Luckily our friend Farrah was with us, and she had to use the neighbors bathroom. After she met the neighbors, she suggested we go meet them, and we are glad we did. The neighbors sealed the deal. I’d suggest meeting the neighbors of any house you’re looking at buying, or at least asking to use their bathroom.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Flying the Friendly Skies

Please explain to me the logic, of standing in line for 80 minutes, to get a good seat for a 45 minute flight? While waiting for a Southwest flight to Salt Lake City, people started getting in their A B and C lines a good hour before the plane was scheduled to take off. Then the flight was delayed by 20 minutes, which means they stood in line for 80 minutes in order to have window or an isle seat on a 45 minute flight.

Here's a little known Southwest Secret:

If you're in the A group: You're going to defenitly get a window or an isle seat, your carry on baggage will absolutely have space in the overhead bin. Even if you're the very last A to get on board, pretend you actually had a B pass and shabam! You were the first B to get on the plane.

If you're in the B group: You will also get either a window or an isle seat, unless there is a lot of pre-boarder's then you're in trouble, and if it's crucial that you get that seat that you want, sure get in line. But your carry on's will make it in the overhead bins just fine. Even if you're the last B to get on the plane, think of yourself as the first C to get on the plane.

If you're in the C group: You're screwed, so might as well enjoy the luxury of sitting in a seat while you wait.

Other unspoken laws of flying:
If your arm is on the arm rest, you are not permitted to let your arm CROSS the rest, into the next seat's personal space. You're already an armrest hog, so keep your dang elbow on YOUR side of the chair.

If you're feeling chatty, and the person next to you doesn't ever ask you a question about you or your life, they want to sleep and to be left alone.

Can people stop with putting the bag on the middle seat thinking that people won't want to sit there because your bag already is? "ooh, open seat... oh, no I can't sit there, there's a bag" the most effective way to get people to avoid sitting next to you is to have a two year old in your lap, or bad hygene- a two year old with bad hygene is fool proof.

If you want to pray to Allah on an airplane, may I suggest a 'silent prayer in your heart' to avoid forcing the plane to turn around, or getting beaten to death.