Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Beauty Versus Comedy

Last Night I was paid one of the best compliments possible- that I'm entertaining and fun.

Of course I had to relay this immediately to the husband as hard evidence that I am indeed hilarious. His response, “I know you’re entertaining, that’s why I married you.” I didn’t see that coming. The husband is short on flattery, and has never told me that I’m fun, entertaining or otherwise. He does tell me frequently that he thinks I’m beautiful. Which I appreciate, but not as much as I like to be told how fun or cleaver I am. When I realized:

I’d rather be kind than fun. I’d rather be fun than smart. I’d rather be smart than rich. I’d rather be rich than beautiful.

I’m curious as to what others rank themselves: Fun, Kind, Smart, Rich, Beautiful, and anything else I may have forgotten. Not only what do you rank as your favorite compliments, but what does that say about you?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


You're familiar with, where you prove to your extended family that those ridculous emails they send you aren't true.

You can do the same with campaign 'facts' that come out in attack ads and debates. This site does put their spin on things, but you get a lot more information than you do from a sound bite. Click here for

For all of you Republican McCain fans- here's a little story for you: Click here for McCain and Hillary are BFF

Monday, January 28, 2008

Something about May...

I have seven friends that all have/will give birth between December & Feb. I didn't realize I had seven friends! This is for a you (Hilary, Heather, Teresa, Cheryl, Amy, Natalie, Kristen) that have done/ will do what scares the you know what out of me.

Congratulations on your ridiculously good-looking children. I am very, very envious (not of the whole carrying around a watermelon inside you and then pushing it out part, but of the adorable cuddly part).

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Who knew? I'm RICH!

Brent and I don’t qualify for the government handout, uhem, ‘rebate’ that is suppose to stimulate the economy in mid-July- because Brent and I are wealthy.

I had NO idea.

I’ve been missing out on a life of luxury cars and designer handbags! I need to trade in my 2000 Jeep for a Lexus! I’ve been wasting my days in coach when I should be rollin’ in first class.

In Utah, the income you need to buy the average home is approximately 80k, so if you qualify to purchase a home in Utah, you’re considered ‘wealthy’ by the US government-and will not get the government ‘rebate’.

I should probably let my brother know that's he's rich too. Living in his cramped apartment in Palo Alto, California it will bring him and his wife and child some solace. They can't afford even a condo where he's employed, but the government has deemed him rich.

Now that I'm wealthy, I'm going to have to find me a country club and a different set of friends- friends that own yachts, drive escalades, have personal trainers and buy ridiculously expensive shoes.

I agree with Huckabee (I know, first I register as a democrat and now I agree with Huckabee, it’s like you don’t even know me anymore) in that this stimulus package will do more for China than the US

Can I just cut out the middle man and find someone that doesn’t pay any taxes and cut them a $300 check? To a high roller like myself, $300 is chump money.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Brittany is the New Jack-o

My IQ dropped 20 points by doing research for this post.

Americans can't get enough of Ms.Spears. There has been only one star to rival the the media obsession with the disaster which is Britany, and that was Michael Jackson. Here's the top 9 reasons why Brit Brit is the new Jack-o:

1. They both like to pose with dangerous animals

2. Both started their careers as children singing with a group, both became break-out solo artists, both sang a song about their new wild image (Bad, I'm not that innocent)

3. Both make disasterous fashion choices

4. Both had very weird (and short) marriages (Lisa Marie, the nurse and K Fed, that guy in Vegas)

5. Both had a controversial kisses at the MTV music awards show. (Jackson and Lisa Marie- it was gross, I'm not posting the Madonna and Brittany picture because that image is still burned on my brain and I will not subject humanity to such evil)

6. Both have siblings milking their fame by association.

7. Both were cute kids that destroyed their own looks

8. Both are considered dangerous to young boys (Brit w/ her own kids, Jacko with everyone else's)

I'm just waiting for Brit to become a germ-a-phobe.

Now that I've posted something about something completely unimportant (yet entirely true), we can now return to my regularly scheduled program of Huckabee bashing.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I promise the next post will not mention mike

So I've become borderline obsessed with Huckabee. Sorry for you that don't care about politics. I promise my next post will be about something totally trivial and unimportant.

Mike Huckabee wants to change the constitution. "[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it's a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards," Huckabee said, referring to the need for a constitutional human life amendment and an amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman." Read the full story here

First- I've decided Huckabee has no idea as to what a president can and can't do. His plans and promises consist of items that a president has little to no control over. In his head being president of the United States = being a prophet with supreme power over his people.

Second- I understand why he thinks he will have ultimate power over the economy, the Constitution and the American people- after all God wants him to be president.

Can we get this guy out of the race already?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Had to share this-

I think it's funny that when one brings up Huckabee's record he considers it an 'attack'.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Losing a Friend to Honesty

When my roommate's boyfriend would show up at the front door, I'd open it, wouldn't say a word to him and walk in the other room to inform Teresa that her date had arrived. I hated the guy. He didn't treat my friend right, he didn't value her at all. She was gorgeous, funny, intelligent and successful. He? Nothin'- brought absolutely nothing to the table.

For his 29th birthday Teresa asked me to go to pick up balloons and deliver them to his work (I'm in sales so have a bit of flexibility with my schedule) I bought the balloons, left them on his desk during lunch while everyone was out. The balloons read, "Happy 30th" - Gaywad had to pull out his driver's license to prove to his co-workers that he was really turning 29.

Luckily for T, she and the gaywad broke up and she ended up marrying her perfect match. (One I fully supported and campaigned for during their courtship)

In another case: my roomate Sarah asked me what I thought about her outfit- she was dressed like a tan gypsy and I said, "I wouldn't wear it"-

She then got angry and walked off in a huff- came back in another outfit: my response, "that doesn't really work either"
Her anger towards me was mounting I said,
"Look, wear what you want on your date, I don't care"
After 4 outfits she finally looked smokin' hot and came in and said,
"Thank you"

My question is- is it better to hold your touge when you see a friend making a bad choice, and save the friendship or speak your mind and jeopardize the friendship?

I've always been the latter- I've ruined a few friendships because I saw my friends making bad choices, from terrible boyfriends to anorexia, it's not easy to speak your mind when your friend is doing something damaging to their life- but I thought that's what a real friend does.

Tonight, I finally made a comment to a friend that has been making some choices that I don't agree with. I've disagreed with her choices for a long time, and have remained silent because I knew she wouldn't want to hear what I had to day. Now that I've said them I don't know that she's going to ever want to talk to me again. My question is- am I bad friend for saying something or a good friend for saying something?

If I knew she wasn't going to be receptive, and was going to do what she wanted to do anyway, should I have remained in silence?

Friday, January 11, 2008

Succumbing to Peer Pressure

I have a favor to ask of you. I know, I'm in no position to ask for favors, but I've been bugging everyone I come in contact with to blog- and some very cool people have started to do so due to my campaign.

My friend Jennifer Z aired the grievance at our festivous activities that, "I'm sick of people trying to get me to blog!" However, her mom and sister have now joined the ranks of active bloggers

The three blogs I'd like to pimp are:
The girl I use to roam the streets of La Jolla with, singing at the top ourlungs- Amy Johnson Jones, the very clever Jeri Johnson and my brother, who use to be funny, now he's just smartKyle.

If the six of you that read this blog would click on the links and post a comment to encourage these intelligent people, that'd be awesome- and I'll officially owe you a blog favor (if you can figure out what a blog favor is, I'll owe you it).

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I'm a Registered Democrat

Ok, pick your jaw off the floor, 'cause here comes another one.

I'm a Democrat because of Hillary Clinton.

Doesn't make sense?

My utter loathing for Hillary Clinton out weighs my love for the fiscally responsible Mitt Romney.

My vote in the primary for Obama is more valuable than my vote in the primary for Mitt.

The husband couldn't do it, he felt he was lying if he registered as a Democrat. I wanted to register as an independent- but Utah has a closed primary, and we all know Mitt is going to get the Republican win here anyhow. Even if he didn't- I hate Hillary more than I love Mitt.

So, I'm a registered democrat.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Black Panthers and Mormons

I'm on an airplane, sitting next to a 20 year old college student who discovered I was Mormon. He proceeded to tell me what I believed. I was astonished! I didn’t know I believed such things. I was greatful this college sophomore could enlighten me. He apparently didn’t understand sarcasm as I continued to graciously thank him for informing me on my beliefs. He then started to sound off about how the LDS faith didn’t allow blacks to hold the priesthood till 1970, and that by being Mormon I was racist, which is where I drew the line and said, “If Eldridge Cleaver didn’t have a problem with it, I don’t see why some white boy from California should take issue.” To which he responded, “Who’s Eldridge Cleaver?”


Eldridge Cleaver was the former leader of the Black Panthers, and yes, he was a Mormon.

I dated a guy who wasn’t LDS, and knew little about the faith. I gave him some LDS literature. He later told me he didn’t read it- he had learned all he need to know about Mormonism from a South Park episode. I told him that learning about a world religion from a cartoon made him an idiot. Lucky for me, I quickly found out he really was an idiot and we broke up.

With Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign my religion has been in the news frequently, which I’m not accustomed to. Growing up in Southern California, my church would only be in the news for it’s humanitarian efforts- of recent I’ve heard a number of news correspondents who have done little less than a google search make commentary on Mitt Romney’s beliefs. Which brings me back to this 20 year old frat boy on the plane, and Matthew 7 where it simply states: “Judge not lest ye be judged” It seams natural that if you want to understand Buddhism, you'd ask a Buddhist. If you want to understand Judaism, you'd talk to a Jew. But apparently if you want to understand Mormonism, you ask an actor who plays a Mormon on TV. That's as inane as valuing Martin Sheen's political commentary because he was the president on West Wing.

Update: I just found out about a great film called Untold Story of Black Mormons

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Why I Don't Trust the Media..

In 2002 I was writing a book (it never came to fruition). A journalist got word of it and asked to write an article about me. I thought, "Why not?" The interview went smoothly enough, we joked about being single, my roommates were in the room, I thought it went well. However, when saw my face on the front page of the Daily Herald, and then read the article accompanying it I was mortified. First- front page news? This was front page news? I was on the front page? What the? Second the article was a total LIE! The journalist had manipulated my words to make me look pathetic and arrogant at the same time. She used quotes that I didn't say, she even got my current job title completely wrong. I almost vomited when I read it, I lost my appetite completely. I then proceeded to steal all the newspapers out of the vending machines on BYU's campus in hopes that no one that knew me would read it.

Lucky for me, the majority of BYU students don't read local newspapers, but some of my mom's old boyfriends and college roommates residing in Provo read it and sent the article to her saying, "Kathy, Is this your daughter?" I started looking for a rock to crawl under. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.

Today I stumbled upon this article on the internet- I got a good laugh. I went through my scrapbook and found the hard copy with this lovely picture. I'm not embarrassed by the article anymore, it's hilarious in so many ways. A life lesson stuck with me, I figure if a small town newspaper with no personal agenda could misrepresent me on such a simple story - then big stories by the big media must be really screwed up.

Here below for your reading pleasure is the TOP STORY (seriously, THIS was the top story in my college town) on April 24th, 2002.

Graduate chronicles leaving Provo without ring
The Daily Herald

The Daily Herald

PROVO -- Kory Welch doesn't know whether to laugh or cry after experiencing dating at BYU for four years -- and looking at graduating this week without a wedding ring.

So she's writing a book about it: "Don't I Get My Tuition Back? Graduating from BYU Single."

"I had a plan since I was 8 years old, and I feel like my plan has run out," said Welch, 24, a senior from San Diego majoring in global trade and world economy.

"Now what?" Welch said.

That question haunts her and many other women who are about to leave BYU unmarried.

BYU is seen by some as the perfect place to find the perfect mate -- especially for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who live outside of Utah, where the number of Mormons is slim.

"BYU is definitely the great candy store," Welch said.

But if that's so, why is she graduating single?

One night in September, Welch woke up at 3 a.m. in a fit of anxiety.

She sat at her computer to vent her musings and theories on dating and marriage at BYU. She now has 45 pages written and is working on getting her book published.

Welch said she doesn't feel bad about graduating single.

"It's another step in life. It's not a failure," she said.

"It's just the Mormon culture puts so much stigma on us," Welch said. "I wonder if there's something wrong with me. But there's a huge number of LDS people who are over 24 and single."

And Welch does have a post-graduation plan.

She is working as a marketing assistant for KISN 97 FM and plans on moving to Salt Lake City after she graduates this week.

Embarking alone on this adventure in a new city is scary, Welch said, but she plans to meet the challenge head-on.

"It's not as bad as people would think," she said.

What's more difficult, she said, is dealing with the negative perceptions of others: mainly the "smug-marrieds."

When questioned at a recent missionary reunion about why she was still single at BYU, she quipped: "It takes a little longer than four years to find someone of my caliber."

Twenty-four of Welch's roommates have gotten married while she was at the university, she said.

One of Welch's theories of marriage at BYU, as outlined in her book, has to do with puzzle pieces. Some people are plain squares or triangles and can fit well with anyone. Others have intricate angles, she said.

"There's more than one person for you, but it's harder to find a decent fit," Welch said.

Slim, smart, talented and good-looking, Welch said she could likely find a guy at BYU and be married in two weeks.

"A lot of people here are marriage-focused and not spouse-focused," she said.

Another theory Welch outlines in her book is the candy-store analogy.

BYU is like one giant candy store with a huge selection: Snickers, Baby Ruth, Butterfingers ... so many to choose from, she said.

"Those who stick around in Provo after graduation are the ones who don't want to leave the candy store, but also don't have the guts to make a purchase," Welch said.

Or the ones who do leave find themselves at a ballpark snack stand, and all that's available is Snickers, she said.

"Your choices are narrowed," Welch said.

Though she has felt great pressure to marry while at BYU, Welch recently broke up with her boyfriend.

"My mother was crushed," Welch said, "but it wouldn't have been a good marriage. Just because I was in love with him doesn't mean I was supposed to marry him."

Welch admits she has commitment fears.

"And marriage is forever," she said.

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page A1