When my roommate's boyfriend would show up at the front door, I'd open it, wouldn't say a word to him and walk in the other room to inform Teresa that her date had arrived. I hated the guy. He didn't treat my friend right, he didn't value her at all. She was gorgeous, funny, intelligent and successful. He? Nothin'- brought absolutely nothing to the table.
For his 29th birthday Teresa asked me to go to pick up balloons and deliver them to his work (I'm in sales so have a bit of flexibility with my schedule) I bought the balloons, left them on his desk during lunch while everyone was out. The balloons read, "Happy 30th" - Gaywad had to pull out his driver's license to prove to his co-workers that he was really turning 29.
Luckily for T, she and the gaywad broke up and she ended up marrying her perfect match. (One I fully supported and campaigned for during their courtship)
In another case: my roomate Sarah asked me what I thought about her outfit- she was dressed like a tan gypsy and I said, "I wouldn't wear it"-
She then got angry and walked off in a huff- came back in another outfit: my response, "that doesn't really work either"
Her anger towards me was mounting I said,
"Look, wear what you want on your date, I don't care"
After 4 outfits she finally looked smokin' hot and came in and said,
My question is- is it better to hold your touge when you see a friend making a bad choice, and save the friendship or speak your mind and jeopardize the friendship?
I've always been the latter- I've ruined a few friendships because I saw my friends making bad choices, from terrible boyfriends to anorexia, it's not easy to speak your mind when your friend is doing something damaging to their life- but I thought that's what a real friend does.
Tonight, I finally made a comment to a friend that has been making some choices that I don't agree with. I've disagreed with her choices for a long time, and have remained silent because I knew she wouldn't want to hear what I had to day. Now that I've said them I don't know that she's going to ever want to talk to me again. My question is- am I bad friend for saying something or a good friend for saying something?
If I knew she wasn't going to be receptive, and was going to do what she wanted to do anyway, should I have remained in silence?