Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Beauty Versus Comedy

Last Night I was paid one of the best compliments possible- that I'm entertaining and fun.

Of course I had to relay this immediately to the husband as hard evidence that I am indeed hilarious. His response, “I know you’re entertaining, that’s why I married you.” I didn’t see that coming. The husband is short on flattery, and has never told me that I’m fun, entertaining or otherwise. He does tell me frequently that he thinks I’m beautiful. Which I appreciate, but not as much as I like to be told how fun or cleaver I am. When I realized:

I’d rather be kind than fun. I’d rather be fun than smart. I’d rather be smart than rich. I’d rather be rich than beautiful.

I’m curious as to what others rank themselves: Fun, Kind, Smart, Rich, Beautiful, and anything else I may have forgotten. Not only what do you rank as your favorite compliments, but what does that say about you?


crazy4danes said...

Catherine Zeta Jones is super gorgeous!!! I just had to get that out of the way...:) I would like my ranking to be as follows:


I think being kind is the most will never be any of the others sucessfully if you are not kind first. Then I want to be (am) smart...brains are good! :) Then's important, but not as important as kind or smart. I would rather have (be) a kind, smart friend than just a fun one anyday! Then beauty...then rich :) So my ultimate compliment would go something like this:

"Angela, you are such a kind and intellegent person, you are so much fun to be around! And let me just say that your beauty far out weighs your bank account!" :D

Why thank you! LOL

Hilary said...

I think you are the definition of kind, smart, fun and entertaining. I would like to be known as "sharp."

chloe elizabeth said...

Ooh..though provoking post. I used to get frustrated with the ex, and I think it's probably because we valued different things. Being beautiful is probably last on my list. I mean, I don't want to be hideous, but I don't need to be gorgeous. I'm even okay being a little chubby because I would rather be:


How's that for honest? It's true. I'd rather be rich than can purchase beautiful if you are rich enough, right?

Will & Natalie Giddens said...

What a neat post! I think beauty is over-rated since if you love someone for the right reasons, even on days when they're not looking their best, you still think they're gorgeous. Case in point, for whatever reason Will still thinks I'm beautiful after two kids, the weight gain that accompanies, and let's just say mine is not the type of body that just "bounces back" after childbirth.

Ok, so for me, I'd say:


Those first three are kind of a three-way tie. And yes, there's a difference between fun and funny. One of my favorite lines from any movie is in Anne of Green Gables when Diana Berry tells Anne that "Gilbert Blythe says being smart is better than being good-looking." Words I clung to during awkward teen years!!

Steve said...

Chloe, I love your quote "you can purchase beautiful if you are rich enough, right?" So true!

This is actually a tough question. I want to say Kind should be #1 for everyone, but it's something I feel I lack sometimes, thus do I really strive for that as #1. Ok, enough self-prognosis babble on someone else's blog.....


Although, rich enough, you can say f'off to the rest and still get whatever you want, ha.

Ben & Kimberly McEvoy said...

Kory, Lets see, I think funny is a great quality b/c not every one can attain it, it is more unique then being nice. Everyone can be nice in varying degrees. I think for me one of the best qualities is helpful or dependable. when a friend is in need and they remark, "Kim, I knew I could count on you, thanks" I feel at those times I am emulating our savior the best.

Rich I dont believe is a quality, a character quality. Being rich doesnt make you better, worse, happier, sadder yet the other qualities directly add to your personal character.

yuo are who you are no matter the bank account. Not that I would mind being rich in any way.

As for your list of qualities

funny, fun

thanks for the opportunity for introspection

Gretchen said...

The top two compliments I get are that I'm funny and I'm smart. While I love getting those two (because they are WAY important to me) a compliment means so much more if it's original. So I suppose if Kind and Beautiful made the list more often that would be good. If they say I'm rich, well then, I'll just know that they're lying liars and to disregard any prior compliments they have given me.

So that leaves me with:

crazy4danes said...

I have to say I'm pretty suprised that no one ranks kind as number one...even some of them are way down on the list?! I feel a new blog post coming on..."Why is it more important to be thought of as funny, or smart than kind? The problem with people today." Look for it in the next day or so! :)

Salt H2O said...

Crazy- I'll be sure to use that sentence more often!

Hil- Thanks! That's nice of you to say, and you most definitly are sharp.

Natalie- I too clung onto those exact same words. That's why girls love Anne of Green Gables, a smart unattractive girl grows up to be a pretty intelligent woman, and gets the boy next door.

Chole- those were my thoughts exactly- case in point: Paris Hilton.

Steve- You're always welcome to self diagnose and babble on the soapbox!

You are dependable, and I'd put that above being rich for sure.
You're right on rich not being a quality- success would have been a better adjective. But I'd argue that money can make you better or worse, happier or sader. Depending on how you view it and use it.

Gretchen, You're hilarious.

To be honest, quite honest- I put kind first because I knew it was the most important, but I'd enjoy a compliment about my sense of humor or my intellect more than I would a compliment about kindness.

I'd rather BE kind than fun/ny- or smart, but I like it more when people tell me I'm fun/ny. Someone last night also told me I was really nice- I didn't relay that compliment to the husband, I barely even noted it. Does that make sense? I know it's more important to be kind. Maybe I should take a clue from Steve and do some self-diagnosis.

crazy4danes said...

It do see what you're saying, however, I think the only reason we like the "other" compliments more is the fact that they make us feel better about ourselves. Who wouldn't want to hear they are the life of the party, or the most beautiful woman in the room???

My question is why does being the life of the party or the person with highest IQ stroke our egos so much more than being the kindest person in the room?

I just find it interesting, and I don't know the answer, but it's odd to me...I think that the ulimate compliment would be that you are Christ like and kind...(I don't like the word "nice" it doesn't have the same meaning as kind if you ask me.)

Maybe I'm just over analyzing the issue (i'm good at that!), but it has caused me to stop and think about WHY we rank the ego strokers the way we do, and why we feel better about being complimented on our brains or comedy more than our kindness?

Love this really got me thinking!

Thanks :)

f*bomb. said...

There is a difference between being kind and being nice. I could care less if people think I'm NICE. But KINDNESS takes a certain level of thoughtfulness and empathy that is a rarity nowadays.

A guy I dated told me (in the early stages), "Farrah, you're pretty much one of the funniest friends I've ever had." I nearly fell in love with him right then and there. Plenty of schmucks have said I'm "beautiful," and while it's flattering, it's a one-sided opinion which eventually may fade. A sense of humor is forever.

Everyone already knows I'm rich.

f*bomb. said...

Of course, one of my favourite songs is "Prettiest Eyes," by the Beautiful South. He discovers that it's all the experiences they've had which have carved the lines on her face and that they are all markings of the beautiful life they've had together,
"Well your face looks like the map of a town.
And my teeth are either yellow or they're brown.
But you'll never hear the crack of a frown when you are near...
So take a good look at these crow's feet, sitting on the prettiest eyes."

Also, Shakespeare's "My Mistress' Eyes are Nothing Like the Sun," stating how her humaness is what makes her divine, or Chet Baker's "My Funny Valentine," where her imperfections are what make her perfect to him. That one's so sexy, you very well may pass right on out.

Jeri10 said...

You're lucky you get such great compliments from your hubby. I asked mine to give me a compliment and the best he could come up with was, "For a fat girl, you don't sweat much."

Jeri and Amy said...

As I already possess all of the aforementioned attributes (kindness, intellect, sense of humor, and material wealth)I've got to admit that I like to hear that I'm beautiful. I'm not the least bit insecure about the others, so I don't require their validation. Beauty is the only attribute that is subjective (and "in the eye of the beholder") so, lo and behold, tell me I'm beautiful!
How's that for honesty B-otches?

Jeri and Amy said...

One caveat: while I like to HEAR that I'm beautiful, I want to be LOVED because of those things that are uniquely me. From my husband, it's not enough to be described by any generalization (funny, smart, spiritual, kind, pretty, or any other catch phrase that could describe 80% of the girls in Provo.) I want him to love me for the details and specifics... I want him to love me for the same reasons that I love myself.