Tuesday, April 15, 2008

April 15th

It's an oldie but a goodie....

Two Cows an explanation of what rules the world in simple two-cow terms...

Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give the other to your neighbor

Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one; force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Democracy: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.


Steve said...

Yeah, I've heard this one before and it still has me picking Socialism or Communism over the other ones!

adam said...

Yeah, I'm a Socialist I guess.

Salt H2O said...


If you're a capitalist and buy the bull, you'll have even more cows to give away.

chloe elizabeth said...

I'm a capitalist. Definitely.

Steve said...

So you'd advocate doing that while your neighbor has nothing?

What would Jesus do? I hate that saying, but good'ol JC was a socialist through and through.

Salt H2O said...


I have 3 neighbors. By puchasing the bull I can give calves to all. By giving away the one cow the opportunity to give more is taken away.

Capitalism permits more charity. Socialism creates econmic equalit', but it doesn't promote society getting any wealthier as a whole.

Which country in this great big world donates the most money and forgein aid? Is it socialist? Nope.

Jesus would share the milk with his neighbors and keep the cow and the bull. He's also probably tell the neighbors if they'd like some milk they need to come milk his cow and get it themselves. If they'd like a calf, they should help feed, wash and tend to the cow- so that when they have a calf of their own they can take care of it and won't let it die- because they've come to rely and expect their neighbor to give them milk.

I think I've taken this too far.

Cameron said...

And the capitalist country that is giving so much aid to Africa is finding out that it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Sell one cow, buy a bull, give milk to the starving neighbors, and then show them how to do the same.

Steve said...

I don't mean to drag this on, but actually, the US is NOT the most generous country when it comes to aid. We actually rank outside the top 10 as a percentage of our GDP. There are lots of different ways to measure "giving" obviously like total or per capita, etc. I'm not even sure if we rank at the top in total. And just as an aside, tithes are a percentage, not a total b/c the idea obviously is that no matter how little or how much you have, you can afford to give that percentage to help others. So the US is a bad tithe payer! :) As for being capitalist, obviously almost all countries of the world are to some extent or another, it's not black and white and even our country has many "socialist" economic policies in place such as vouchers, subsidies, and tax credits.

Ok, at this point, I think we have KILLED the cows! haha.