Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Two Years Down...Time and All Eternity to Go


When Brent and I were engaged my brother and his wife of 2 years took me out to lunch the conversation went like this:

Kyle: “Kory, just so you know- the first year of marriage is really hard.”

Kory: “I know”

Kyle: “No, I mean it’s REALLY hard. You’re going to wake up one morning and think, ‘What the hell did I do?’ And I'm not talking about 6 months after you’re married, I mean way sooner than you think”

Kory: “I get it, I expect it to be tough”

Kyle- eyes open wide, face tenses, reaches out grabs my arm and says: “Kory you don’t understand. The second year is great. I love being married but the first year is REALLY REALLY hard”

His wife sounding a bit defensive: “Kyle it wasn’t that bad.”

Kyle looks at her, says: “You’re right it wasn’t awful. It was just a tough adjustment” But then he looks to me and mouths: “It sucked”

Maybe it’s just those with really strong personalities that have lead selfish lifestyles that have a hard time with year one. I remembered my brother’s words a lot through that first year- and strangely, they comforted me.

My brother was right, year two was AWESOME, well worth suffering through year one.

Happy Anniversary Brent.

25 comments:

Hilary said...

Congrats! At the risk of too much disclosure - I live in Twin Falls. It is on your way to Boise if you happen to cover that area. I would be loving life if I got to see you! Please let me know!

crazy4danes said...

YAY! Happy Anniversary! :D You guys were the opposite of us...year one piece of cake...year two...HARD! But that was because we had B in year 2 :P....hope you guys have a FANTASTIC year 3!!!!

John & Krissy said...

Kory! Crazy, I found you through Chelsea Monahans blog. Remember me... your slat lake city neighbor who also sadly was tricked into living in Salt Lake City, but did live to tell the tale! Ha! Victory is mine! Hey, I am glad I found you, check us out!

Will & Natalie Giddens said...

Two years?!?! Alright! Congrats - are you guys doing anything fun to celebrate? Fun dinner? Movie? Gifts?

Della Hill said...

Happy Anniversary!!!
2 Years is something to be proud of.
Is today actually your anniversary? Because that's a huge coincidence.
Today is my wedding anniversary too.
No kidding.
We're celebrating 11 years today.
April 22 was the perfect day to get married.
I got married on a Tuesday because I didn't want to be bride #34 at the Mt. Timp. Temple.
I was bride #1.
And I still am.
You're not out of the woods yet. I would say the first 5 are the toughest over all.
But marriage is awesome. If you're not having a blast, figure out why and change it.
It's meant to be good.
Congrats.
-Della

Salt H2O said...

Hil- Awesomeness. Next time I'm in town I'm comin' to visit.

Crazy- That's part of the reason I'm afraid to get prego- things are so good now why mess them up?

Krissy- Of course I remember you! I was wondering what you've been upto. I swear Chelsea knows everyone!

Nat- I told Brent all I wanted to do was go dancing- don't think he's going to come through on that. Why is it that men hate to dance?

Della- yep- it's today. 11 years! That's fabulous. Congrats!

Steve said...

Happy Anniversary! Yeah, year one (fingers crossed!) has been pretty smooth sailing for us; granted we still have four more months to go and are now house shopping!(not for the weak!!!) I'm with you on the kids thing, but she is worried about getting "old".

brent said...

Congrats!

That's pretty good advice from your brother and sister-in-law. I chuckled at the "it sucked" addendum to the whole experience.

Here's to an eternity of learning and fun and love and happiness for you two!

chloe elizabeth said...

Oh...how I love real people!

drew said...

Wow, this got me really excited for my wedding (may 1st).

www.drewandcamie.com

Steve said...

Oh, and since you are now past the two year mark, I guess you aren't technically "Newlyweds" anymore, eh?

Robin said...

You are a darling couple. Congratulations!

Salt H2O said...

steve- house shopping brought me to tears.I think we qualify as newlyweds until someone moves into our neighborhood that has been married for less time than we have. BTW- no commentary on Dawinsim/Ben Stein/Intelligent Design? I'm surprised.

Brent- Thanks! It has now become my standard piece of 'wedding advice' at Rehersal Dinners and Bridal showers that "Just because the first year sucks, doesn't mean the marriage sucks."

Chole- Me too!

Drew- Congratulations, and as for my bit of wedding advice, see above

Robin- Thank you. I think we're pretty cute- but not the kind of cute that makes you want to throw up a little.

Steve said...

Salty,
I think I am more likely to cry during the house shopping than K, but that is probably b/c I do most of our financial stuff, ha.

Oh, good call about the newlywed tag. I think that is a fair gauge on how long to use it.

Ha, I saw that post for the trap that it was! ;-) Actually, I like Ben and not just b/c of his Ferris Bueller role. I don't agree with him on all topics, and there are very few people I do, but that doesn't prevent me from considering their advice. Case in point, I still come back here everyday! haha.

f*bomb. said...

So...When are you gonna have a baby?

jiners said...

Congrats! Our first year was ok, I think it was really the first 3 months we needed some help:)

davers said...

1 year - Congratulations! Barbara Streisand was so messed up ... people who *need* people are the most miserable people in the world. It's interdependent (not dependent) people who are great to be around, and both you and Brent seem to fit that mold. Best of luck for many anniversaries to come!

Jolly said...

Happy Anniversary! It keeps getting better through all the bumps in the road.

Did you read Robin's post yesterday about marriage? It made me tear up.

I love your blog so much!

The UnMighty said...

I think that's the most romantic anniversary letter I've ever read.

ChelMo said...

Congrats! I think that the two-year mark is a biggie, and I'm glad to hear that you and Brent crossed that particular mile marker.

I'm also happy to hear that I know everyone. I was starting to feel as if I were a pathetic loner with no friends. Thanks for brightening my day!

cropstar said...

best marriage advice i've ever heard lovesit!

congrats!!

Daisy Paige said...

The first year was hard (and the first two months were the most difficult) but our second year was awesome. Now we're on our third and brought a baby into the mix. I don't think I would have made it if I was doing then what I'm doing now to take care of the little fella. We needed a full year to merge our lives and another to enjoy the merge.

Salt H2O said...

F*Bomb- You kill me

Jiners- You got off easy with just 3 months.

Davers- yes, Barbra was wrong about oh so many things (most of all the Mirror Has Two Faces- I could barely stomach the preview)

Unmighty- Yeah, we're all sweet and mushy like that.

Chelmo- I also think 2 years is a big one- the next big one after this is 7.

Crop- I'm glad I can help out.

Daisy- I hope to be on your exact same plan. Marriage is tough, I can't imagine how tough it would have been to get prego in the first year.

Salt H2O said...

F*Bomb- You kill me

Jiners- You got off easy with just 3 months.

Davers- yes, Barbra was wrong about oh so many things (most of all the Mirror Has Two Faces- I could barely stomach the preview)

Unmighty- Yeah, we're all sweet and mushy like that.

Chelmo- I also think 2 years is a big one- the next big one after this is 7.

Crop- I'm glad I can help out.

Daisy- I hope to be on your exact same plan. Marriage is tough, I can't imagine how tough it would have been to get prego in the first year.

Kam said...

thanks for scarying me. now i will never want to get married.