Thursday, August 7, 2008

Beware of the Frosting

A friend was depressed because he was infatuated with a certain girl for years and when he finally got to talking to her on the phone, her personality was so lacking he didn't bother asking her out. He said this was a perpetual problem of his, the girls he went out with all tended to be self centered, image absorbed and shallow.

I asked him to describe the girls he typically asked out and you can guess what they looked like and how they dressed. My answer was, "What do you expect?" Next time you see a girl with anorexia and implants sporting a designer purse and wearing clothing that's too tight remember what her personality is going to be like and you'll suddenly no longer be attracted to her.

Then I told him the allegory of the cakes:

You have two cakes, one was purchased from Albertons or which ever grocery store, and it's covered with pink flowers and frosting.

The second is a homemade chocolate cake, where the frosting isn't quite perfect.

Which cake is more attractive to you? Which cake do you want to eat? The homemade cake naturally, because you know it tastes good, and hence it has become more attractive. You see the heavily frosted cake and think, "Woa, that's a lot of frosting, I don't want to be eating that." The cake which someone has put so much effort into looking good becomes unattractive.

What's interesting are those continue to buy the overly frosted cake and then are surprised when it tastes like frosting.

This is not to say that attractive people aren't interesting- it's the heavily FROSTED people that you have to worry about. Tanning, excessive time at the gym, highlights (especially DUDES with highlights) way too well dressed. If a guy could dress REALLY well, I wasn't interested. Men especially need to beware of dating the frosting, once they marry a well frosted lady, guess who's going to be paying for the frosting.


bechtold clan said...

So true...I know far too many people hooked on the frosting till its too late and they are stuck with it only to wish they werent. Nice appearance, clothes etc are one thing- obessed about it?? Not good. But everything you described I cant stand. Seems to be the thing tho in Utah. Skinny, fake boobs when they are 20, nails, hair, purse, shoes, jeans, car, all on a credit card. :)
Hope you are feeling ok with the pregnancy by the way.....

Allie said...

I've known one person who I would have thought, by outward appearances was a frosting sort of gal- once I got to know her, her insides were good old home made... I'm not super fond of generalizations, even if they do seem to be true.

Does make me think about why people present themselves the way they do though.

Salt H2O said...

Bechtold- I'm feeling SO much better! Thanks for asking! I dated frosting a few times, and every time I did I wondered why I didn't learn my lesson the first time! That's when frosting became just unattractive.

Allie- I too have met a piece of frosting here or there that have had good hearts- but they were all frosting focused. When you're married you don't have to be discriminatory by any means, but when dating- don't be surprised when frosting acts like frosting.

Allie said...

Good point- I'm married, so I view it very differently than someone looking for a spouse.


crazy4danes said...

Like you said...frosting is a point. It's when the frosting is overdone you really need to worry. The key is to have the mentality you are looking for a little of both...not just frosting. You do want someone who cares enough about themselves to dress well, and take care of themselves...but doesn't care to the point they loose all their flavor on the inside!

Glad I'm out of the dating game that's for sure!!! :D

Christin said...

AMEN! We need to get you on Oprah to broadcast this kind of information.

Melissa said...

I like this. :) I was telling my 7 year old just tonight how lovely she was INSIDE.

Steve said...

Ha, so true! Is it any wonder I prefer my cake with NO frosting!

Although, define your "too much time at the gym"? My frosting feels threatened! :)

Allie said...

My former roommate has an exercise blog, and from the way she talks, I sometimes wonder if she lives at the gym.

She's not a frosting girl, so I think it has to be a combination, not one characteristic alone.

(The Great Fitness Experiment)

As far as boy/girl goes, here are the theories I've heard...

1- babies come in waves, so if there are a bunch of boys a year or so old, you're having a girl.

2- if your spouse is the sort of man who needs a "son" to feel manly, you'll have a boy. If you have a husband who is more in touch with his feminine side, you'll have a girl first.

3- if you crave sweet things it's a girl. If you crave salty things it's a boy. (and if you crave subway veggie sandwiches, like me you'll end up with little cavemen). :)

4- This isn't a theory, and please don't ever do it-(not that I think you would- you seem smarter than the type who'd do it) but supposedly if you put drano or something in the toilet and pee, you can tell what you are having based on the color the drano turns.

Allie said...

Whoops, I got posts mixed up- that boy girl part was supposed to be in your nail lady post.

Ben and Kimberly McEvoy said...

I remember the frosting analogoy. so true. I believe as representatives of christ and his gospel we should look respectable and put together. . . .but if your spending more time getting ready then each day then you spend at church a week. that's over the top.

like in all things what is your purpose for the boob job, the 1,000$bag, or weekly manicures? that is above being presentable or feeling good about your self.

great post. now if only the needed people would learn and realize the knowledge here.!!!!!

Kam said...

my friend compared me to a steak dinner vs. skittles once upon a time. he said once and I quote, "there are girls that are eye 'candy' basically a quick fix, colorful and fun, but after eating a bag you get sick and realize you are still hungry. that's when you want that boring piece of meat that is oh so tasty and is going to satisfy you." i remember thinking, "so basically i am a piece of meat?" anyway, i loved the analogy of frosting though. that was a good one. :)

Jeri and Amy said...

First of all, don't knock the frosting-- it's delicious! It's the quality of the cake underneath it that's lacking!

The question I would pose is this: What happens to the frosting girl once she has kids? Does she continue to decorate her own cake, or worry about the batter of her child's?
You can't be truly dedicated to your children and continue to create elaborate decorative touches on your cake-- there just aren't enough hours in the day! When I see a mom that is ALWAYS perfectly frosted, I feel sorry for her kids.

chloe said...

I loved this...and there are always exceptions to generalizations, but generalizations exist for a reason.

I had a friend who was like a girl Allie described...but her problem was that somehow, she thought her only value was the frosting and didn't realize that her cake was good to (why does that sound dirty). My point, once she figured that out, she became a much more balanced person and is no long "the one hit wonder" (you know, one date and it's over).