Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I'm a Wuss
I've never been good with blood or needles- I close my eyes when watching House, if you start to tell me a story that involves blood, wounds or any sort of physical pain I'll plug my ears. I am a wuss. I know I'm a wuss. I've accepted total wussdom.
A year or so ago I had a colonoscopy. The procedure itself isn't nearly as terrible as having to drink the 5 gallons of nasty nasty clear solution that makes you poop water.
Typically they just drug you to relax for the colonoscopy, you're completely awake during it. In the hospital the nurse was preparing me for the iv and I warned her, "Look, I tend to get a bit queasy so you're going to have to do this quickly"
She said 'no problem' and then after poking me said, 'Uh oh, your blood isn't threading- we're going to have to poke you again. Don't worry- I'll get someone else to do it.' My breathing gets a bit more rapid, the heart starts to pound a bit more.
Nurse #2 comes over and pokes me in my other hand, and then proceeds to say, "it's still not threading, we're going to have to poke you again"- Surely this nurse isn't so stupid as to get this wrong again and then proceed to announce it to the patient with her head between her knees and trying not to freak out. They go to get another nurse, they poke me this time in my arm- the nurse says a third time, "It's still not threading!"
At that point I'm handed a paper bag to breathe into, put on a bed and rolled in to see the doctor. I'm at the brink of passing out. Entering the procedure room- the doctor looks at me and says "I hear you're not very good with needles" it took me all of half a second to reply, "Yeah, and neither are your nurses!"
That is the last I remember, instead of just relaxing me for the procedure they put me under completely. I'm thinking passing out may end up being my only line of defense in labor.