Thursday, January 8, 2009
Due date +1
We're now at the due date +1. So how am I?
Besides the fact that my feet are swollen to the point I can only wear my husband's flip flops, I'm hanging in there. That's if I overlook dreading going to bed- because after finally getting into bed, like a pancake continuously flip from side to side to avoid getting bed sores and to allow blood to flow back into which ever arm I happen to be currently trying to sleep on. It takes about 3 minutes to reposition. Once I've finally found a position that is remotely close to comfortable, I have to use the bathroom for the umpteenth time, waddling like a duck every step of the way.
I have two appetites: I can't eat anything because nothing sounds good, even when I'm hungry, or I eat everything in sight times two! Either way, I am bound to down another package of tums to avoid serious heartburn (another reason I get no sleep). I can't tell the difference between a contraction and having to go to the bathroom, and the highlight of my day is a good bowel movement.
I'm currently on maternity leave, which is in the best interest of all involved due to my tendency to cry at the slightest bit of stress.At the same time it's incredibly frustrating to want to accomplish so much but barely have the strength to get myself up off the lovesac. I've learned from watching day time tv commercials that I'm wasting my life and I really should be entering a technical college, my regular job is a total crock because I could be making millions from home, and I'm an idiot for not buying silver coins (because the price of silver WILL go up!) and the snuggie is the best thing since crocs.
My heart rate increases just by walking to the mailbox, and my breathing is so heavy that after climbing a simple flight of stairs I need to sit down and take a break. I can't figure out why doctors keep asking for urine samples when I can't even see down there. One more week of this and I'll be ready to do ANYTHING to get this kid out, including reaching for the first leatherman to cut it out myself BUT excluding sex!
My favorite is when people tell me I'll 'miss' being pregnant. I'll no more miss being pregnant than I miss acne and the 7th grade. I can't blame her for not wanting to come out, all I do is watch an hour of the news and think "no wonder she wants to stay in there!"