Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Blessings making me cranky

By 6 pm yesterday I was wiped out. That morning I got the best run in I've had in months, and between feedings I was on conference calls, typing with one hand while bouncing a baby on my knee, picked up my sister in law at the airport, catching up on all that I've missed in work over the past 3 months, dealing with spit up all over the floor, ran to the post office just before it closed to send a package off to my sister in Paraguay, and did about 3 loads of laundry.

Then around 8 pm I was cranky. I was worn out, tired and knew that this was my new life.

This morning I realized I was the most ungrateful creature on the planet. I was cranky because I was able to have a great job and take care of my healthy beautiful baby at the same time. I had a sister in law that helped me immensely in the afternoon yesterday and a sister who is out serving other people. I was exhausted because I was able to run. I was cranky because I was blessed.

If there is one thing I know, is that if we complain about our blessings God will surely take them away from us. I better watch out!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

You like me! You really like me!

Ok so maybe you don't like me, but my cousins that I've always looked up to and admired like me- and I consider that quite the accomplishment. I rarely care what others think of me but these classy ladies are the exception to that rule. (I retract that statement, I care when people like me, I don't care if they don't like me- I figure it's their loss)

They flattered me by interviewing me on their blog- read the bossy post here .

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Hookin' a Brother Up

I don't posses many talents, specifically, I have two: First- I can pick out the perfect pair of glasses for any face within the first 3 minutes of walking into a store.

The first talent has something to do with looking like this as a child:

It's become second nature to know which set of glasses is going to look best on any one's face. I know you're jealous, some of us were just blessed. I'm sorry, it's something that can't be taught, it's an inherent skill that took years to inquire. I just know. I'm probably going to be held accountable at the last days because I've been hiding this talent under a bushel.

Since I can't teach the first talent, I'll share some information on how to acquire the second- setting people up.

I've yet to meet anyone who can match my skills, I'll practically break my own arm patting myself on the back for this one. 2 Marriages, many fabulous realtionships and one couple that drove 1/2 way to Vegas to my name. (They really should have gotten married, I've never met a couple that was more Saturday's Warrior, but they had a Hubble situation on their hands. Kind of tragic really- anyhow I digress..) I've yet to have someone tell me that the date they set them up on was a mistake or that they couldn't see it going somewhere. Seriously, I'm good- so this is how it's done:

1st- Single people are not single because they can't get married, they're single because they've chosen not to get married yet. When contemplating setting up a single friend don't think "who do I know that's single?" think "who do I know that this person would get along splendidly with?"

2nd- Don't build up the blind date. Do let the two you are setting up know why you think they would like the other person- but don't say that they are 'so perfect for each other'. Keep the information about the other person as minimal as possible.

3rd- If you can avoid it, don't set up people on a blind date. The sneaky set up works best. Have a get together inviting a number of people who are single- but don't go pairing anyone off. Don't tell the people you'd like to meet that you're setting them up. Just create a casual and fun environment where the two can meet.

I enticed my neighbor to come to a dinner party by telling him I was going to set him up with one person, when in reality I wanted him to meet someone completely different. That way at the party he didn't feel any pressure when he met person #2. In addition, his roommate was a total flirt that I knew would monopolise person #2, so I didn't invite him. They now have 2 kids.

You'll find that most single people want to be set up if it's with someone that they will genuinely like, not if it's just someone else that is single- that's offensive. It's telling them that they should just settle for anyone.

Single friends: Am I missing anything here? Please share your insight-
And speaking of 'sight' (oh, sooo punny!)if you need some glasses give me a call, I'll hook ya up.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

As a courtesy for all news reporters...

After watching Obama, his terrible excuse for a press secretary (seriously, Robert Gibbs must have some serious blackmail on Obama that landed him that position), and congress over the past 50 days I've figured out the answer to all critisms directed at the whitehouse. No need to ask any tough questions, I've got your canned answers below:

You didn't hear any complaints about it when George Bush was president.

I inherited this problem from George Bush.

The Bush administration did the same thing.

And in regards to earmarks and reckless spending they sound like the coach of my highschool football team: Next year we'll get them!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Fabulous Item of the Week- a Milker

Our home is cluttered with stuff we thought the baby might like. Swings, toys, chairs, there are few items I've decided I could live with out. But the one item that has made our lives so much easier- is the medela breast pump.

Sure, being milked isn't terribly glamorous, it's the same price as a car payment, but it's been worth every dime. It takes 10 minutes to pump versus 1 hour to feed. Love it, love it love it!

What is the one baby item that made your life easier?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I owe Mike Huckabee an apology

You know, apparently I was overly critical during the nomination process, as our current president has shown that basic logic and math skills are indeed NOT required to be president.

According to Obama doom and gloom speeches over the past month, we're in store for another depression - which was they key argument for bulling the nation into buying in on his 1,000,000,000,000 spending package, however according to the white house budget, over the next 5 years we'll see unprecedented GDP growth rivaling China, which will cut our deficit in half! We will be in both a depression and have unparalleled prosperity!

Mike Huckabee- you have my apology, at least you were upfront about your shady math skills.